I’m currently emerging from 2 years of single parenthood and thought I would use my blog to share my thoughts from the other side. During my time tackling this parenting gig solo I learnt so much and read a lot from other single parents going through it, but less about what happens if you choose for that time to be up. I’m intrigued to know how newly coupled up parents reflect on and feel about their time as a single parent, how they transitioned from single to couple again and how they helped their children navigate the changes in family dynamic so I’ll be posting regularly with tips on how I survived, my thoughts on it all now and I’d love your input and thoughts if you are/ have been a single parent so please feel free to leave me a comment.
Just over 2 years ago Alice’s Dad and I decided to separate and head down the road of divorce and I felt like the arse had fallen out of my world. I had no idea what I was going to do, how would I afford to house us? How would I work? Who would ever be interested in dating a mum who was divorced before she was 30? I felt totally embarrassed and moving home from Scotland to Milton Keynes, feeling very much like I was crawling back with my tail between my legs, was not in the least bit enjoyable. During those two years I faced more difficulty and stress than I ever have and enough financial worry, government paperwork and local council frustration to last anyone a lifetime, all of which I’m sure i’ll cover in future posts in this series.
Inevitably during my single time I re-ventured into the world of dating, mostly online apps because single mum= stuck at home after nursery pick up and working in a female dominated industry left minimal opportunity to meet a guy at work. I swiped, chatted and dated my way through the dating maze (with a fair amount of sharing dodgy profiles in the group chat for good measure) and finally met someone last December who had a proper grasp of grammar and I was properly excited about, I’ll spare the gushiness but 6 months down the line and we are moving in together, yay! I’m so happy and excited but what I didn’t expect was the feeling that I would, in a way, miss my time as a Single Mum. As intensely hard as the last two years have been I survived it, mostly intact, fairly sane and with a happy, thriving 3 year old in tow, and if you were to ask me what I’m most proud of in my life I would say that time.
Feeling reminiscent moving on from what has been the most challenging chapter of my life has really taken me by surprise, I am incredibly proud of myself in managing it that I feel a little sad to be leaving those achievements behind me. I’m of course excited for the future and am so grateful for my new partner but in being the sole creator of our little world, I knew how everything worked there (or didn’t in the case of the council) and beginning to let go of some of the control and learn to ask for help again and share responsibilities are definitely lessons I’m learning in this transition (spoiler: they still need work!). If you’ve been a single parent who has gone on to couple up it would be great to know if I’m the only one who feels this way and how you found transitioning back to couple life so please pop me a comment below and if there’s anything you’d like me to write about in the series go ahead and give me a shout!